Time Flies

I wonder how many people go through the ups and downs of weight loss the way I do. Its so frustrating to me to know that when I started this March 1st of 2012 I was hell bent that I was going to succeed. Money became  tighter so I had to quit weight watchers and try to do it on my own, even though I had all the tools to continue along in my journey I felt alone again.

I look back now and summer is over just about and had I stuck with going and not cheated myself the pleasure of full success I would have been just about at my goal,maybe not but at least I would still be on the right path. Now I find myself thinking how the hell can I get back on track, I read stories of people who have went down the same roads as I am and they succeeded they reached their weight loss goal and they are still living a healthy lifestyle not letting anything get in their way.

I need to reload, refocus,and rethink of a way to get my body on the same page as my mind and thoughts. Easier said than done sometimes this body of mine doesn’t want to exercise or eat well, my emotions get the best of me and I give in to all the things I know I shouldn’t.

I don’t know why this has to be so hard for me I know how to do it, I have done it I lost almost 40 pounds and have gained it all back but 17 pounds that alone seeing those numbers makes me so mad at myself. I gave up on me after saying there was no looking back that I was ready to get healthy and get this body in its top form, but I lied to myself, I walked away because of whatever was going on with me or my family at the time, I gave up.

I remember how I felt when my daughters would say wow Mom look how skinny your getting or Mom you look great, those words were like a payday for me. I want so badly to finish this journey finish what I started and show not only myself but my girls that I can accomplish what I set out to do.   That I am not a failure at this too. 

My weight issues come from years of feeling alone, unwanted, unneeded and unloved at times and that led me to look in the mirror and say I wasn’t worthy of anything.  I grew up in a small town where I was already a target just because I wasn’t from there originally and because I was a little bigger than some of the other girls. I was picked on and called names, told to go back where i came from, that went on til grade 10 when I had enough and started to stand up for myself. I hope I can get focused again finding my way off the darn couch and back on the road of exercising everyday. I love how I feel after a good hard workout, I love how my body feels and shows the hard work I do so I just need to keep that in mind and not let life get in the way of my journey any longer, I owe it to myself to get fit and healthy I owe it to my kids to have a healthy Mom I dont want them to look at me and be proud I am their Mom not to  think of me as a failure and someone who gives up when hard times come but that I push through and find the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

 

Hello Everyone

Sorry I haven’t written in awhile but I have been really busy trying super hard to get myself to lose. The last 3 weeks have been very hard on as I hit a small bump in the road and gained a little weigh back about 2 lbs or so but then my hard work paid off and I lost 4.6 and got my 10% goal. Last week I gain a little again Im not sure whats going on but I am thinking its because of all my exercising I must be gaining muscle.
I have started a 30 day challenge on Facebook, I made a group and so far its been going really well there are 62 members now so I’m pretty happy that I can help others and they too help me stay focused.
 My 45th birthday was yesterday I’m feeling awesome, this is the best gift I have ever given myself, A gift of health and wellness. 
So weigh in is this Saturday and I’m hoping for a loss as I have started the challenge and am working very hard and I have met some really nice women who joined the group.I couldnt be happier I dont think. I am super proud of myself.

Anyway I will talk to you all Saturday maybe before if I have anything to report…

Cheers and thanks for taking the time to read my blog

🙂

Afternoon kids…

Afternoon kids

  Well I had a great weigh in this week Lost 2.2 and feeling like a million bucks. I have been baking my butt off the last few week for people so I have been super busy enjoying the yummy scents in my home. 
I walked to weigh in today took me 55 minutes its way up at the top end of town maybe 3 miles or so and walked half way home.So I got one good walk in for the new weeks start.

I am still very focused on my journey, finding it hard at times but I over come it and move forward. I have a great will power this time, with all the baking I have not eaten much of it at all. Which surprised me because normally I would taste the batters by the heaping spoonfuls. Now I take a taste to make sure its right and thats it. 
Its a beautiful day here in the Soo so I think Im going to head outside and enjoy it. I might go to Jills tonight for some drinks and pizza have to wait for her call as her Folks are in town too.
Anyway kids have a great Fathers day weekend and remember to be kind to yourself and take time to relax and enjoy this life you have.

Til next week

Cheers!!! 

So Happy

Hi  Everyone,

  Wow I just cant believe I’m doing so well this time around with losing weight, it seems like its melting off me and I feel so awesome. I weighed in this morning the scale was nice again I’m down another 1.8 lbs for a total of 23.8 lbs lost. 
I said I was going to fulfill my dream of becoming thin and healthy and I’m well on my way, I received some great news last week from my Doctor I can go off my blood pressure medication after this last refill is done so by the end of September ill be off it all together. I have wanted off that crap for so long so I’m supper happy about that.

Everything is starting to happen for me now and it makes me feel strong and excited like a new beginning on this life of mine. Anyway I wish you all the best and much happiness in all you do in your own lives but always remember to love you and be honest to yourself.

cheers! 

I have 6 LBS to…

I have 6 LBS to go before I hit my 10% mark and I will weigh 253. I still have a long way to go to reach my goal but I know I can do this this time. I feel I can do just about anything I set my mind to these days. I have also joined the YMCA but I have to make myself go there it would be much more fun if Jill would join with me but I know I shouldn’t need anyone to do that I should be able to do it myself but hey lets not kid ourselves its much more fun to work out with a friend than it is alone.

Im really trying hard to lose more weight before my birthday in July as I have planned a big party with my sister Shelley in Kalamazoo Michigan. Ill be turning 45 and what a better gift to myself is to be down 40 lbs by then. Its going to be a weekend Ill never forget I love that place. The Piano bar is absolutely awesome and the people I met last time there were super nice.

So hoping all goes well and i work my butt off Ill get to this goal too.

Hi Kids Its b…

Hi Kids

  Its been a while since I was last on here not because I didnt want keep you all posted but I have been busy trying to stay really focused on this weight loss. I have had a couple small gains nothing to get upset over and 2 weeks ago  I lost 3.4 that was a good week seeing as I thought I( would have gained because it didnt feel like I had lost anything at all. So it was a welcomed surprise at the scale that week.

I weigh in tomorrow morning so Im hoping for a loss again as Im just sitting at the 20lb mark and would like to lose alittle more before my birthday in July.

I have a great support system so it makes it fun and Im with my friend Jill alot too these day that is something I love doing. She makes me laugh and we have a lot to talk about most times so its never boring. I dont know what I would do without her friendship.

So Ill go update the weigh ins i missed and I will be back tomorrow to add tomorrows loss as well.

have a good night everyone and thanks for telling me that some of you do check up on this blog and to remind me to get back on track with keeping you all informed of my progress.

Cheers!!

Good Morning!

Its a beautiful Monday morning the sun is shinning, the birds are singing and Im happy to have been given another day to continue on in my journey. I have a lot to be thankful for, my children are the most important to me, and my family have been pretty supportive and for Jill. girl you make me laugh and never forget that I am a special person, you keep me focused and positive on many levels. The talks we have had mean a lot to me and I couldn’t ask for a better friend, so thank you for everything my dear friend 🙂

One thing I have to touch on today is the positiveness  I have this time around. I have this image of myself when I reach my goal and for some reason I strongly feel I can obtain that goal. Its along way down the highway of loss but along the way I hope to have the opportunity to meet a few other goals I have for myself. Starting college is something I have been looking into finding a career I would love to do for the next 25 years or so Im excited to get a jump on this.

All this is so new and real and very exciting for me. I’ll be 45 this summer and I feel that its never too late to start things to better oneself. To do something that you have always wanted to do but for whatever reason you didn’t but the time is here for great changes and to take hold of a new beginning is a great feeling. 

Summer is my favorite time of year, I look forward to all the BBQ’s with my family and friends, heading out to get some quality camping time in with my kids and maybe even getting them to try something new as well. 

I’m not so worried about the food issues this time, I know that if there is something I want I will have it but I will count it and to have a small taste of something is better than not having it at all and making it hard for myself.

I enjoy life more  I feel I don’t have to be so hard on myself I can have the cravings but just a small amout so I don’t feel deprived or left out. Its something I will have to do for the rest of my life and I look at it as a challenge not a CANT HAVE. 

So all in all its been fun so far leaning about the NEW ME I will continue to work hard on bettering myself and enjoy it every step of the way and so should all of you too. Love yourself alittle more and take pride in how far you have come. Dont be so hard on yourself, love life grab a hold of it and learn something new.

Cheers

 

Awesome Week

Talk about being super happy, 🙂  I weighted in tonight and lost 3.6lbs and hit my 5% goal, now I’m on to the 10% so I have 11 lbs to go to reach that.  Things are starting to really go my way now. I’m looking at going back to school for a second career not sure what but its all paid by the Gov which cant get any better than that.

Last week was a pretty good week aside from having an abscessed tooth and dealing with more pain that I have ever felt in my life,But things are on the mend with that too now. I am able to eat again lol so I guess I done pretty good considering.

I have Jill to thank for getting me in touch with he right people at the college and for always being here for me to talk to, she is an amazing person and I’m so very thankful to have her in my life. I hope she knows how much I appreciate all she has done for me.

Well Im off to have a bite to eat now so I hope you all have a great night and a super weekend. Be kind to each other and do something nice for a stranger if you can.. Paying it forward can be very rewarding

Cheers!